Panic and Peace

Since the surgery, especially the first few weeks, I had a lot of anxiety. Mainly around thoughts of "is this normal?"

My left foot is slightly swollen, could this be a blood clot?
Am I not walking enough?
Am I too tired?
Is my digestion supposed to take this long?
Why do I feel dizzy every time I stand up?
Am I drinking enough water?
Did I just move in a way that I shouldn't have?
Why is my blood pressure so low?
(I had the blood clot checked out at the ER and was fine. I didn't want to mess with that one! As far as feeling dizzy upon standing this was most likely a lack of electrolytes. I added in some coconut water and celtic sea salt and was fine)

Now after about 3 months the fears have changed but are still there.

I just slept all night on my left side and now it hurts, could I have hurt the healing internally?
Am I going to struggle with fatigue from now on?
What if I get sick?
Is my kidney functioning okay, and at a good percentage?
Am I eating food that will strain my kidney or aid kidney stones?
Is this enough water?
Why is my blood pressure still low?
Did I compromise a lifetime of health?
Am I stressing myself out?
Will I ever stop being afraid?

I know donors can struggle with anxiety afterwards and I didn't want to start down that slippery slope.

About three weeks ago I joined an amazing yoga studio and I try to attend a class everyday. It's amazing how calm and strong I feel afterwards. The fears are still there but I have more power over them. I can remind myself that I am still healing, pain and fatigue are normal. I'm also a healthy person with a healthy diet and will continue to be so. My body can compensate even if I'm not doing the 100% best recovery method (even if I knew what that was). Added bonus, I can now touch my toes :)

Yoga has given me a control that I had lost and I don't ever intend to go back.