Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Scar/Swelling Progression Pictures

I know a lot of people probably don't want to see this but I also know that before the surgery these type of pictures were what I actually looked for the most. Hopefully the title will deter those who don't care for this.

You can really see the swelling drop, especially in the first few days. My size still fluctuated on a daily basis for the first 2 months but I think it was mainly only noticeable to me based on the fit of my pants.

Day 3

1 week
2 Weeks
3 Weeks
3 months
(I just came from yoga so you'll have to ignore the lines my pants made. We also don't have a large mirror in our apartment so I couldn't take this one at the same angle as the others)
Not too bad, although I'd be real happy if it eventually becomes the same color as the scar you can barely see just to the right.

Panic and Peace

Since the surgery, especially the first few weeks, I had a lot of anxiety. Mainly around thoughts of "is this normal?"

My left foot is slightly swollen, could this be a blood clot?
Am I not walking enough?
Am I too tired?
Is my digestion supposed to take this long?
Why do I feel dizzy every time I stand up?
Am I drinking enough water?
Did I just move in a way that I shouldn't have?
Why is my blood pressure so low?
(I had the blood clot checked out at the ER and was fine. I didn't want to mess with that one! As far as feeling dizzy upon standing this was most likely a lack of electrolytes. I added in some coconut water and celtic sea salt and was fine)

Now after about 3 months the fears have changed but are still there.

I just slept all night on my left side and now it hurts, could I have hurt the healing internally?
Am I going to struggle with fatigue from now on?
What if I get sick?
Is my kidney functioning okay, and at a good percentage?
Am I eating food that will strain my kidney or aid kidney stones?
Is this enough water?
Why is my blood pressure still low?
Did I compromise a lifetime of health?
Am I stressing myself out?
Will I ever stop being afraid?

I know donors can struggle with anxiety afterwards and I didn't want to start down that slippery slope.

About three weeks ago I joined an amazing yoga studio and I try to attend a class everyday. It's amazing how calm and strong I feel afterwards. The fears are still there but I have more power over them. I can remind myself that I am still healing, pain and fatigue are normal. I'm also a healthy person with a healthy diet and will continue to be so. My body can compensate even if I'm not doing the 100% best recovery method (even if I knew what that was). Added bonus, I can now touch my toes :)

Yoga has given me a control that I had lost and I don't ever intend to go back.